When House of Coco asked personal branding consultant, Lisa Orban of www.goldennotebook.co.uk whether your personal brand can help you succeed online her response was ; “It absolutely can”. “Being sure of who you are and what you want – your personal brand in essence – means that the authentic you will come over and you won’t end up wasting time on people who just aren’t right. Being sure of your personal brand makes online dating much more productive, less stressful and, above all, more fun.
A comprehensive Golden Notebook personal branding assessment will cover aspects of both your professional and personal life. Here Lisa shares the following specific personal branding steps to help you get the most from your online dating:
Investigate any Obstacles
You may think you’re ready for dating but check that you don’t have any self-sabotaging thoughts or behaviours that may interfere with successful dating, such as telling yourself it’s not really going to work. If certain thoughts or behaviours are stopping or limiting you, take time out to examine these obstacles and deal with them first.
Think about your values
What is truly important to you in life, and what do you want from a relationship? If you recognise that having a family and home matters a great deal to you, you may decide not to waste time meeting someone who is obviously a “rolling stone”. Some dating sites now have values questionnaires so you can see if someone’s values overlap with your own. Of course, they won’t match identically but having some shared values is the ideal.
Do they support your personal brand?
Try to be objective here. Can you see them supporting you in the future, and allowing your personal brand to shine through, even if that support is more in the background? Or do you have a sneaking suspicion they could somehow hold you back, or perhaps even be a negative reflection on your brand? This is not just about physical chemistry; good relationships make you feel respected and supported.
Take a look at your outer branding
It’s important for your outer branding (e.g., personal style, mannerisms, communication style) to be authentic, but at the same time, it’s also important to put some effort into it to make a good impression! If your personal style is funky, arty and bohemian, don’t hide the real you in classic couture because you think that’s what you should be wearing when out with him or her. Also, what is your profile picture saying about you? Do you look warm and approachable, or aloof and mysterious? Neither is better than the other, but you need to choose photos that accurately reflect your brand and send the right message. Does your picture include the infamous “arm chop”, where you can see a tiny bit of an ex’s arm around your own, begging the question of how easy it is for you to chop people out of your life?
Be realistic about discrepancies
Opposites can attract and enrich each other’s worlds. If he’s “suited and booted” and that’s really not your style, don’t write him off just because of that. Things like whether you can develop each other’s strengths and compliment each other are much more important, and can make for some interesting “co-branding”. It’s because of these first date discrepancies that it’s often worth giving someone a second (or even third!) chance to see the real them.
Use your own strengths
If the process is getting you down, what strengths and skills do you already have that can make this easier and more fun? For example, if you’re a great project manager, can you look at this as just another project and organise it as something you were working on normally, crunching the numbers and doing what you need to do (and it is essentially a numbers game)?
Bringing together her extensive training, experience and passion in both psychology and branding, Lisa Orban founded Golden Notebook. A chartered clinical psychologist, Lisa trained and practised in New York City for eleven years before relocating to London.
Lisa helps clients make a name for themselves by discovering their distinct and authentic personal brand — one that consistently represents who you are, and reflects both inner and outer confidence. She takes a unique approach to personal branding that combines psychological assessment and theory with branding strategies to create for powerful and enduring individual change and personal impact.